all mixed up

i swear i am the most unpredictable person in the planet right now. last week was a rollercoaster ride of emotions.. since i was very weird (as if that's something new). and right now i'm this nervous bundle of positive energy waiting to come alive. whatev. im not making sense. it's 2 in the morning and i still haven't slept. sleep. bad. shit.

anyway

i wanted to blog since last night but i was really sleepy when we got home from araneta so i decided to snooze anyway.

ok. so last night was weird. definitely weird. well, at least it wasn't as weird as i had expected it to be earlier last week.. but yeah. i came to tart for rescue. so thank you. and thank you besp for understanding. and for the time. and janina for the chance. owyeah. whatev.

is three really a crowd?

i don't know. i'm not sure. i didn't feel that for the longest time and lately, i do feel it. and it's bad. it's like a potential source for negative energy. or something. but i know i shouldnt feel that way. but it sucks. and sometimes i really want to drown in self pity but i know it wouldn't do me any good at all so i stop and think.. and stop. ok. whatever.

hay. i can't put it into words directly but i feel left out. i know it may be my fault since i've done some pushing/shoving other people away acts lately.. and this may be the consequence. but it sucks when it's in your face. i don't want to be misunderstood. i'm not saying that something's wrong with other people - probably the problem's me pa nga. but... i dunno. i don't want to say anything wrong... or no., i don't want to say the wrong words in the process of explaining the right things. i really suck in expressing myself lately. boohoo.

but yeah, i just needed to let it out. thanks avery, or vera.

if you read this and you have questions please talk to me, you know i need you. thank you.