short but sweet

Nakuryente ako.

*bow*




[told ya it was short..]

toired ass

heheh.. gawd, i feel so tired and harassed...

SCHOOL..

hay. i had to endure 3 days of being business-like. it only means 3 painful days of wearing heels and going up and down the 4th floor for 3 times a day. and i had to stay in school til 7:30. talk about torture.

anyways, there's always a good side. hehe.

i was able to buy new shoes (make that sandals, step-in, with heels, whatever)..and they are totally fab Ü LOL i got really perky when i saw them and bought them immediately.. haha.. (freak.) and i bought a new novel to read.. (its by jude deveraux) i hope i got the spelling right haha.. and my mom bought me clothessss :) yey.. they're just oh so cute..hmmm i think i might have to do a "private shopping session" on monday.. haha.. Ü i'll go to the mall on my own and shop my heart out LOL..Ü im bad tlga. im looking for accessories (again) but not earrings muna (kse earrings on sale right now seem to look all the same to me..i want unique ones..) so right now im looking for bracelets. haha. trinkets. :) and hair accessories too. and sandals. and... (ohhhkay) earrings again.. hehe.. Ü


I'm such an accessory-freak.


(and i thought this entry was supposed to be about ME being TIRED?!)

oops. Ü

[my desire to blog: 20 June 2004, 18:08]

SHATTERED DREAMS

I'm so not gonna sing anymore. Well maybe not in the following weeks or so..but I'm gonna give my so-called career a break (if there's a "career" to begin with: there's none of it anyway..). Anyways, I sang my last song a few minutes back and maybe (just a thought) it may be an ode to my frustrated future as a singer. I think I don't have it. IT meaning the voice, the stage presence and the star quality package that I need to be a diva.

Wait, let me make it clear that not sourgraping, asking for pity, mercy or whatever. I'm just stating my current resignation as a diva wannabe. I would always want to be a singer. But it's as far as I can go --- WANTING TO BE A DIVA :(

Maybe you're wondering why I'm suddenly giving up my hopes in this.. it's as simple as this. I don't think I'd be a diva...and my loved ones seem to not believe in my capability. I hate being compared to others, and well, in the middle of my last (farewell) song, I heard a certain side comment.. "Alam mo, mas malinis kumanta d'yan c _____ eh..kaya nga gustong gusto yun turuan ni ano e.." and POOF..there goes what's left of my "passion" for this craft. I almost cried in the middle of the song. I had to keep my composure and "poise" to sing the remaining Words and Pitches of the song.

Now, songs seem to be just words and pitches put together. For the drunk.

I think I'm being bitter again. Hooray. This blog is back on track.

"Didn't we almost have it all?"

Yeah.

Jenna the Diva
R.I.P.
20 June 2004

F*CKED UP

shit. why do i still have this certain shitty feeling that i'm hoping that you still have feelings for me? why do i wish that you offer that song to me? why do i want to hear from you that you miss me? why do i get scared when im around you? why do i want to hang out with you again? why do you make me feel so guilty about feeling this way?!!!


hay. bakit nga ba kelangan kong umasa na may nararamdaman ka pa para sken? bakit ba may munting parte pa ng aking puso na umaasa pa rin na para sa akin ang kantang iyon? bakit tila ba gusto kong marinig galing sa iyo na nangulila ka saken kahit papano? bakit ako balisa at takot kapag kasama kita? bakit ba gusto pa kita makasama ulit? bakit ba napakasama ng tingin ko sa sarili ko dahil sa nararamdaman ko?!

sinaktan mo na ko dati. you've hurt me then

and i have no reason to feel this way. at wala akong dahilan para maramdaman ko ito.
tama nang nasaktan ako dati. i think all the hurting in the past's enough.
and i dont wanna go through it again. ayoko nang maulit pa iyon muli.

bakit ba ganito pa nararamdaman ko?! why the hell do i feel this way?!
this is not right. hindi ito tama.

ayoko na.
enough.

=(

MiXeD eMoTiOnS

ive always wanted to write a poem or maybe a song about mixed emotions.. hay. i duno.. it always interests me but once i start writing down whatever thoughts i have, wala na.. poof..

now what made me entitle this entry as such?

i dont know. lets just say i was browsing thru friendster a few mintues back.. i started reading posts, read one particular post from someone... checked what/who was it for.. and it hit me.

i got affected. for some reason or for whatever experience that came to mind....the thing is: The "past" (i think) is haunting me. and it scares the hell out of me and i feel so guilty and bad. =(

i dont wanna think about it anymore but every now and then... it just pops out.. prang minsan sa "critical" situation pa chka sha magpaparamanda... which is really really./... ARRGGGGHHHH WEIRD!!!!!
Nkakainis kse eh..why did i get affected all of a sudden...?!! eh DUH.. its been a year.. more than a year..since whatever shit happened..tpos ngyon ako magkakaganto?! f*ck... hay...can this be true? meron pa bang feelings?!! (errmmm i wanna barf.)

THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. I dont want this to happen!! I'm a good girl.... No-no-no-no-no...

SOMEBODY, SLAP ME!!!!

reformat # 5

another new "layout"..

at least i got my links back..

sign my guestbook its soooo down there... :)
sa clickables :)

mwahmwahmwahÜ

DEAD.

just a day just an ordinary day...

nothing new today... (FYI its the seventh today... anyhooooow)

i went to school to get a locker and car stickers..met up with aireen and cheka there.. hehe...i was supposed to go home na right after pero my two kaberks (mentioned above) made me pilit (ahaha) to go to the mall and watch a movie with them... i wanted to... shmpre... i wanted to make sure na nasulit ko vacation ko..hehe... i called up my dad and asked him if i could go to the mall.. haha shmpre ginamit ang dramatic powers hehe... i told him na 1 week na nga lang ang vacation ko so sana malubos ko diba... well, eventually he let me go the mall.. hehehe... Ü

anyways.. we went to the mall nga.. i got there first kse nagpadaan nko sa driver. hehe went around... bought some stuff... tpos eion... met up with my kaberks.. hehe.. we decided to eat lunch na muna at kfc.. (zinger.. yum!!!) hehehe.. Ü we have loads of time kse 1:40 pa ung start ng movie....

shmpre yung movie... SHREK 2.. haha watched it for the second time... hehe soooper funny ksi eh! yahoo!! ang cute cute ni puss!! promise!! sa mga taong ndi pa nanonood nun..manood na kaio!!!! c'mon!!! Ü hehe... anyways... e di un.. nood kme.. super lamig sa moviehouse haha.... nkatapat kme sa aircon literal.. pero ok lng.. saya nman nung movie eh... langya c cheka baliw, tawa ng tawa pagkaupo pa lng nmen. hah :)

after the move neya tart had to go so libot muna kme ni chekabols mylabs,... hehe i saw my cousin and kai.. as in kai pacana my sister in birthday! LOL.. may class na kse pala cla tom... :) nagliliwaliw lng din sa mall.. hehe lalng.. sharing...

anyways i bought another pair of earrings... sobra na tong kabaliwan na to... i bought a pink flower thingy earring... cute!! Ü hehe tpos i bought a necklace din na silver na may "BABY" and astig pareeeee ahha!!! :) sharing... Ü

hmmm wala lng... napapraning lng ako d2 and im getting impatient *ehem* at someone *ehem* and i dont think alam nia.. harhar... hayyyy im soooo bored... i want to go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I WANT TO GO OUT!!!!!!!







rarr. *MEOW*

ITS BEEN A WHILE..

Random Thoughts....


I've been too lazy to blog for almost a month. I attempted to change my layout to a pink one, and now, my comments box and all the links i have are gone... BOO HOO....

anyways... school's gona start again next week... (rar, to think ive only started on my "SUMMER" vacation.. DOI... umuulan na nga!! haayy) im gonna go to school tomorrow to get a locker and car sticker for the car. oh wells. i feel so tired already..

its so cold right now.. its so rainy na!! weehee... kaso bad trip.. it wud be hard to go out na kse umuulan na.. hehe u know.. those takas trips i have to the mall with some of my friends.. hay..

i want to go out sana tomorrow kaso wla nmn akong ksama.. and its raining men, hallelujah pa... so mejo mhirap.. momsy bespren neeka has class na tomorrow.. which is sooo sad.. kse wala na kmeng bonding moments...

last week, wednesday, me and bes went to mega to watch shrek 2 (SREK according to the ticket lady --- im so mean!) hehe.. it was sooooooo darn funny... me and cheka are thinking of watching it again... maybe tomorrow :) hehehe!!! and yesterday (saturday) mommy aspe accompanied me to watch all my life (which she watched for the second time!!) touched nga ako kse sinamahan pa niya ko sa torturous movie hehe.. it was good nman kaso funny coz of the F.K.-laway part and the english galit scene of kristine... hay.. ang saya! nakasama ko dlawa kong mama sa barkadas :) hehe

anyhoooo.. i went shopping for new earrings... shmpre... addict eh.. tpos when i got home i discovered that my mom bought me 2 pairs din of earrings na mejo similar sa binili ko... :) she knows my taste ha! right now ang grand total of earrings ko (dangling ones only ha!) are 97 pairs!! wahehe... addict tlga!! fun e... right now im looking for silver dangling earrings sa super duper haba... lalng... para nakatago sa hair ko kuno tpos bsta.. style ko na un! wahehe... kaso ang mahal kse sa mega... im gona look for much much cheaper ones... lam nio naman ako, i wud never buy accessories na mas mahal sa 100. cheapstick ako hehe! :) bsta!! i wanna go shopping.. i need jackets, pants, skirts, blouses, watch, sandals, headbands, bags!!! grabe na ito!!! sana i have the money no!?! hay..

nga pla, i took some test, i saw it on my sister's blog (my sis thinks i dont know the URL to her blog haha as if!!) anyway... its a personality disorder test.... see for yourself.. Ü

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

haha... funny.. avoidant pala ako... and i thought i was more of an antiosocial person.. WHATEVER!! haha.... hay..

i found an old diary the other day.. funny!! puro about sa crush ko.. (grabe past is past ha) puro kahihiyan kamo!!! kakainis...mga kaeng-engan ko sa crush ko... at mga kadramahan chuva ko sa buhay.. haha!! nakakainis!! nakakapraning!! hahaha!! :) lalng.. sharing..



INAANTOK NA KO.. BUKAS NA.. HEHE


JENNA BABY.. 07 :) uy seven bukas!! :) hahha!! |\/\/|