[my desire to blog: 20 June 2004, 18:08]

SHATTERED DREAMS

I'm so not gonna sing anymore. Well maybe not in the following weeks or so..but I'm gonna give my so-called career a break (if there's a "career" to begin with: there's none of it anyway..). Anyways, I sang my last song a few minutes back and maybe (just a thought) it may be an ode to my frustrated future as a singer. I think I don't have it. IT meaning the voice, the stage presence and the star quality package that I need to be a diva.

Wait, let me make it clear that not sourgraping, asking for pity, mercy or whatever. I'm just stating my current resignation as a diva wannabe. I would always want to be a singer. But it's as far as I can go --- WANTING TO BE A DIVA :(

Maybe you're wondering why I'm suddenly giving up my hopes in this.. it's as simple as this. I don't think I'd be a diva...and my loved ones seem to not believe in my capability. I hate being compared to others, and well, in the middle of my last (farewell) song, I heard a certain side comment.. "Alam mo, mas malinis kumanta d'yan c _____ eh..kaya nga gustong gusto yun turuan ni ano e.." and POOF..there goes what's left of my "passion" for this craft. I almost cried in the middle of the song. I had to keep my composure and "poise" to sing the remaining Words and Pitches of the song.

Now, songs seem to be just words and pitches put together. For the drunk.

I think I'm being bitter again. Hooray. This blog is back on track.

"Didn't we almost have it all?"

Yeah.

Jenna the Diva
R.I.P.
20 June 2004