...Possibility. Pride. Another Chance. Giving Up. Just Letting Go BUT Staying in Love...
Yeah, i know. they dont make sense -- at all. well, i dont know how to start another one of my "bittersweet" entries here.
someone asked me why i havent been updating my blogspot lately. well, its not that i dont have an inspiration or anything. i actually have lots of ideas but it's either i dont have time, i dont feel like it or i dont have enough ideas to express myself fully, para lahat masabi in the way i want it to be said...haay...
this blog entry would be one of those "special entries"...i'll just be basically blabbing my thoughts away...i mean, current feelings...i feel soooooooooo frustrated...make that DAMN frustrated! prang gusto ko na lang sumigaw at the top of my lungs...gusto ko tlga!!! hay..bsta..ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko...parang anytime magco-collapse ako --- and i'm feeling this for no very clear or concrete reason AT ALL.. it's weird --- I KNOW! but it's how i feel... and its not easy :(
i dont know if you (yes, you) get anything from what i'm trying to tell you. I DON'T KNOW. i think i should change the topic..
I LOVE YOU-
MAHAL KITA-
WO AI NI-
YO TE AMO-
JE T'AIME
sweet, noh? yeah..prang those are the types of words na sobrang ang sarap marinig from someone...yeah.. *sigh* pro they seem sooooo overused.. and
MISUSED. sobrang misused --- and its irritating!
there are certain people na parang "hassler" na in using, or rather, in manipulating these words..into what? well, they could manipulate them to make them sound true pag sinabi nila. what i mean is yung ngsasabi ka na mahal mo ung tao just for the sake of saying it..."masabi lang" in Filipino...prang these words aim to make the other person believe them and expect from them. kawawa naman ang mga nagago ng mga ganitong tao...(nun mga hassler). NAPAASA LANG SILA SA WALA.. dhil sa mga binitawang salita..hayy... tell me about it. ha-ha. i'm telling you,...when you experience this, it'll hurt like hell. TRUST ME.
hay. what's the sense of saying "I LOVE YOU" para lang bawiin AGAD? i mean..oo...i know...things change, and people do too. pero sana...kng sasabihin ang mga salitang yan, sana TOTOO. sana...ndi cnsabi at nafifil for two different people AT THE SAME TIME,,ryt?
everyone has the right to be selfish pagdating sa love na yan.
and i'm sorry --- i'm the selfish type. *winks*
lalang. i dunno tlga if im making sense. mhirap lang pag nasabihan ka na mahal ka ng isang tao...tapos mawawala rin.
ES MONOLOGO.
hay. cguro dito ko na lang ilalabas ung lahat ng gusto ko sabihin, ----. ayoko na tlaga dumagdag sa mga iniisip mo eh. alam ko marami ka nang problema. tama na yun. pro all this time gusto ko tlaga sabihin saio. ngyon lang naman ako nging ganto ka-open to someone. ewan ko nga kung baket eh. you know, i felt so hurt...ung cnabi mo sken na iwan na lang natin lahat un. kalimutan na lang natin lahat. mahirap eh. tulad ng sabi ko, ndi ako plastic. i cant act as if im not affected, when in fact nababaliw na ko dhil affected ako. affected ako. as in. nakakainis na nga eh, nakakapikon tlga. hay. lamo, during the time na i wasnt talking to you, i was holding back everything. sobrang gusto rin nman kta kausapin.. hay. pro i wanted to save some pride from myself. and i knew it wasnt the useless pride i usually had. nasaktan ako e, i cant help wanting to do that. like i told u, ayoko pa nga kta tlga kausapin eh. kaso... *FATE* ata to. grbe.. 6 na pala 2morow no? wala lang. parang kailan lang. u know what..i missed those days. i was reading our conversations sa chat. they made me smile. kaso most of them mga away natin, mga misunderstandings, and ung GOODBYE. i hated it all in the end. pro i missed them honestly. kung pwede lng ibalik na lang lahat sa dati. i missed "having you around". ung kausap kita buong araw, ung tumatawag ka dito, kwentuhan, magkatext, tinutugtugan mo ko, at kinakantahan pa kta! (bonus yun ah! hehe)..i missed everything. HOW THINGS USED TO BE. hay. i dont know, i guess WE can't have them back. well, cguro pwede...kung gugustuhin at gagawan ng paraan. from what i see right now, chances are low --- no matter how i want it to be...bka ako lang mai gusto na bumalik sa dati since ang gusto mo kalimutan lahat. friends kung baga? eto ha. once and for all, lilinawin ko. mhirap man to i-admit saio...ok? MAY FEELINGS PA KO FOR YOU. ndi ko rin alam kung bakit ganun, eh dpat nga galit na galit na ko saio ngyon. di kse ko marunong magalet eh. KASO...alam ko mahal na mahal mo SIYA. alam ko un. iyak ka nga ng iyak para sa kanya eh. siya na lang lagi mo nakikita. siya lagi importante. lahat ng efforts mo para sa kanya. umiikot buong mundo mo sa kanya. kulang na lang sabihin mong "siya ang buhay mo". nahihirapan ako para saio. gusto ko 2mulong..prmise! kaso...naaapektuhan ako sa sinasabi mo. ewan ko ba. ayy oo nga pla...magpapakamanhid ka pa rin.. pro i want u 2 know this. u deserve to know this. bsta im here lang. cguro every now and then, wala ako. mahirap din kse na malapit ako saio and i know na mahal na mahal mo sha. [im wishfully thinking someone would love me the way you're loving her] hay. im holding back everything. sobra.
i miss my prince. i mean, ndi nga pala kita prince no? i miss having a prince. ewan ko kung nsan na sha. tuluyan na shang napnta sa kabilang kingdom. ndi na nia ko bnalikan. sabi nia mahal nia ko. it lasted for a day or two. nagpakita lang ung princess from another kingdom. damsel in distress kse, ayun, iniwan na nia ko ULET. sabi nia mahal nia ko. sabi nia khit un lang pniwalaan ko --- na mahal nia ko as a princess. pinanghawakan ko un.
hanggang ngayon.
prncsangl_jenna@yahoo.com